雅思作文如何從5.5分提升到6.5分？
來源：互聯(lián)網(wǎng)
小編：環(huán)球教育整理 883雅思作文從5.5分提升到6.5分，想必這是很多考生都想實現(xiàn)的目標(biāo)。那么如何做能讓雅思作文從5.5分提升到6.5分呢?這1分的差距如何突破呢?下面環(huán)球教育小編用實例解析幫大家解析雅思寫作提分的秘密。
我們以這個雅思題目為例：
Some groups of people benefit tremendously from modern communication technology，but some others think it is not beneficial to them at all. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
有一些人認(rèn)為，從現(xiàn)代通訊技術(shù)可以獲得巨大的好處,但也有一些人認(rèn)為這并不有利于他們。你是同意還是反對呢?
就這個題目，我們先來分析一位學(xué)生的5.5分雅思作文：
第1段： With the widespread use of the Internet and technological progression, it is more easier to contact each other. Some people profit from modern communication technology,especially who are far apart from each other ,while others do not. From where I stand, there are some people can not enjoy the benefit from convenient communication in the information age.
點評：作為開頭段，本段思路是不錯的，但是需要做如下修改：(1)progression - progress; (2) More easier - much easier; (3) especially who are far... - especially those who are far...; (4) there are some people cannot enjoy - some people cannot enjoy / there are some people who cannot enjoy; (5) 根據(jù)后文，增加了because of poverty and their age，開頭段直接點出后面要論述的主題，增加文章的連貫性。
第2段：To start with, people in remote area or impoverished countries where they still stay in touch with each other by letter or telegram could not enjoy the convenience from advanced communication techniques. They are not well-informed about the progress of those modern technologies owing to the limited news resources. In addition, many remote regions still do not have access to mobile phone coverage and the Internet. Because the local governments may not afford the fee in terms of the high cost of building some communication base station and burying optical fiber.
點評：本段寫得不錯，如果這篇雅思作文的全文都能寫到這個水平，6.5-7分都有可能，但存在問題：(1) may not afford不是一個常見的搭配，應(yīng)該是cannot afford; (2) 通訊站，光纖之類可用communication infrastructure來統(tǒng)稱，其中infrastructure的意思是“基礎(chǔ)設(shè)施”。
第3段：We can not deny the fact that that modern means of communication have became an indispensable part in people’s lives due to their merits. Email, smart phone, instant messaging programme (like Wechat,Line) and social networking websites (Twitter,Facebook) have greatly improved the efficiency and effectiveness of long-distance for many people. With signal covering, they enable people to contact with friends and family members wherever and whenever possible .Moreover, modern communication technology has lowered the costs of communicating. However, some people ,especially the elder, do not profit from the development of communication technology. It is of great difficulties for them to learn how to use email or instant messaging APP. Accordingly , the elder still utilize relatively original means of communication, like telephone and mails.
本段問題最大，尤其是思路。本段論證“老年人無法享受現(xiàn)代通訊科技”，但本段前面一大段都在講現(xiàn)代科技的優(yōu)勢所在，這是離題的。應(yīng)該一開始就像第二段那樣提出主題句，然后展開論證，即為什么老年人無法享受通訊科技。修改文提出了兩個原因，一是他們習(xí)慣了傳統(tǒng)方法，二是他們學(xué)不會現(xiàn)代設(shè)備，然后舉爺爺為例，他不認(rèn)識羅馬字母，因此無法使用現(xiàn)代通訊科技。這樣論證很清楚，很清晰。
第4段： To conclude, I would concede that modern communication technology enable tons of people to enjoy the convenience. Despite that, some people , including people in remote areas and the elder, are not beneficial from these. Over all, I am convinced that government should provide funds for remote region to develop accesses to the Internet and mobile phone coverage. Also the media is supposed to popularize the advanced communication technology for the elder.
點評：結(jié)尾段思路不錯，僅有幾個用詞小錯誤。
經(jīng)修改后的6.5分雅思作文：
With the widespread use of the Internet and technological progress, it is much easier to contact each other. Some people profit from modern communication technology, especially those who are far apart from each other, while others do not. From where I stand, I do find some people can not enjoy the benefit from convenient communication in the information age because of poverty or their age.
To start with, people in remote area or impoverished countries where they still stay in touch with each other by letter or telegram could not enjoy the convenience from advanced communication techniques. They are not well-informed about the progress of those modern technologies owing to the limited news resources. In addition, many remote regions still do not have access to the Internet connection, because the local governments cannot afford the high cost of building the Internet and communication infrastructure such as the optical fiber.
Furthermore, the elderly people also find that they can hardly benefit from the modern communication technology. They have been so used to the traditional ways of communication that some of them can never adjust themselves to the new methods. There are also some old people who find that they simply cannot learn how to use email or instant messaging APPs, though to the young, these are really simple applications. My grandpa is an example. His inability to recognize Roman letters makes it impossible for him to use any of these convenient means of communication.
To conclude, modern communication technology enables many people to enjoy its conveniences. Despite that, some people , including people in remote areas and the elder, are not benefited from these. Over all, I am convinced that government should provide funds for remote region to develop accesses to the Internet connection. Also the media is supposed to popularize the advanced communication technology to the elderly. (307 words)
以上就是環(huán)球教育小編為大家整理的雅思寫作的備考指導(dǎo)，希望對大家有幫助。更多雅思備考資訊，請關(guān)注環(huán)球教育官網(wǎng)。
