影響新聞編輯決定的因素
來源：
小編： 106作文點評一例：影響新聞編輯決定的因素
來源：環球教育網 www.ielts.com.cn
2005-7-5
Task Two:
Question: News editors decide what to broadcast on television and what to print in newspapers. What factors do you think influence these decisions? Do we become used to bad news? Would it be better if more good news was reported?
Answer:
Nowadays the contents on TV and in newspapers are decided by news editors.
In my essay, I would like to discuss the contributing factors to these
decisions, whether we become used to bad news, and whether it is better
if we received more good news.
First of all, as far as I am concerned, it is a common intention of news editors that any thing reported in TV or news papers must be something attractive to the public, simply because such things sell the best. Therefore we can easily figure out that things exciting, amazing, uncommon, even overwhelming will be the news editors’ first choice.
第一句參考：First of all, the common intention of news editors, in my point of view, is to make everything reported be something attractive to the public. And this contributes greatly to those editors’ decision making.
Secondly, honestly I’m not quite sure whether we become used to bad news. Although people frequently view bad news in media, many viewers tend to ignore this kind of information. Moreover, some bad news, such as the regional wars, is still the hot topic among people, whilst other bad news, such as plane crashes and natural disasters, etc., can’t catch our attention. 作者先說“not sure”緊接著下一句，“很多人傾向于忽略這些壞消息”，多少有些前后矛盾。第一句建議改為：Secondly, though people are frequently exposed to bad news, many of them tend to ignore most of the bad news except some hot ones concerning regional wars.
Lastly, to the issue whether it is better if we received more good news, I believe the answer is that we are benefited from the true stories more, no matter if they are good or bad. To support this argument, I would like to state: firstly, people will not書面語中盡量不縮寫 be more positive if they receive more good news nor be the other way around if they receive more bad ones. Next, I doubt the truth of a piece of news if it doesn’t merely represent the original story, but has to carry the editors’ personal intention. Last but not least, we need the media to tell us exactly what is happening in the world without any subjective inclination.
In a word, media should present us the world as the way it is.
① 文章的每句話都是在回答文章開頭給出的寫作要求中的問題，這樣做有好處就是絕對不會離題； 但是也會造成一種缺陷，
② 大作文是一篇議論文，議論文就要有論點，論據和論證，這三點缺一不可。本文中似乎缺少事實論據，論據不用太多兩個至三個就可以了，太多時間不夠用，考試時的字數要求也只是250,
③ 文章結尾處可得出結論，可以是和上文所述相符合的主觀結論，本文結尾處的寫作思路很好，但是整體文章給人的感覺就是很僵硬的回答文章給出的問題
④ 關于事實例證：如，說明“編輯們為了報紙或雜志有好的銷售量，為了迎合讀者，他們寫得東西可能就有失客觀性”，針對這個可舉現實生活中簡單的事例。
⑤ 總的從語言，結構安排來看還不錯，我只是著重指出你可以改進的地方，好的方面我就不多述了。
很欣賞你對學習認真的態度。繼續努力，助你考試成功，有問題請和我聯系（沈路）
